The New Yorker’s Spot On Spoof Of Brewery Tours and Bro Breweries

“Yeah, bro, I’m totally getting the IPA taste in the front”

Well done, Eddie Small, via the New Yorker.

This sendup of a brewery tour had me noding my head yes and laughing.

Highlights:

Hale Valley Brewery—one of just seventeen microbreweries in Litchfield County, Connecticut, that has the word “Valley” in its name.
….Adam & Phillip decided to open up their microbrewery in Litchfield County because, as soon as they saw how beautiful it was here, they knew it was the only place where they could make their beer taste as great as they had always imagined.
…Now we’re going to start the tour in what we call the “brewing room,” where you’ll have the opportunity to sample individual beer ingredients on their own, when they all still taste bad and nonalcoholic.

Go read it, anybody that’s noticed the occasional Business Bro Brewery or have been on one-too-many tours, will find it a fun read.

Suburban Beer Drinking

I don’t really know that I truly live in the suburbs.

Geographically I am in the middle of the city. My neighborhood is 70 years old. Can that still be called “the suburbs”?

I had always thought of the suburbs as like, the small towns and track homes around the city as the real suburbs.

Well anyway, I live in a house that 60 years ago, was the edge of town. So … vintage suburbs then.

Which finally leads me to: Do we drink differently in the suburbs? Are beer trends the same as the core of the city? What about people out in the country?

Do I drink more living where I am at? Less? ANY difference than if I lived in a loft downtown?

Maybe.

A different part of the city might be closer to taprooms or breweries. Another has basic liquor stores. Out in the boonies you have a small country market.

That would have to make a difference, right?

I feel like I drink more grocery store beer than anybody in a different part of the city or countryside.

Are styles used differently? More Lagers out in the boonies? More Stouts in track homes?

Guess I’ll keep trying to figure this out.

File Under: Drinking & Thinking. Habits.

Drink Tokens: A New Collecting Obsession Unlocked

Look out! I am about to get into drink token collecting.

I saw someone on Beer Twitter (sorry I can’t remember who it is otherwise I would credit it) showing off some old drink tokens.

They looked so clean and probably very satisfying to hold in your hand, and yet I have none.

I can remember using them in an old dive bar I would haunt (Yo, Stardust in Fresno!) – I can’t remember how or why I earned one.

Bars that have bands play will give them to the bands as a form of payment sometimes, I definitely didn’t perform with a band at Stardust… but there was a lot of me performances by me, if you know what I mean .

Anyway, they looked so cool I immediately went to E-bay to see if I could find a Fresno one, like the one I had somehow earned. I could not.

But I did go down the drink token rabbit hole and eventually purchased a nice New Jersey one – my wife’s side are all from New Jersey so I figured I’d start there since it’s slightly possible one of them held one of these tokens:

I’ll be busy on eBay looking out for the right one.

Bring Your Beer: “The Studio” from Portlandia

I was always a little frustrated with Portlandia never developing a brewer or beer geek character on the show.

It is such an obvious fit for a show about Portland culture and its nerds to have a quirky beer nerd character – too obvious for Fred and Carrie I guess.

At least the characters occasionally are having a beer in sketches. One of this best is the above sketch “The Studio” which starts with Fred’s Studio Guy character (maybe my favorite) asking Lance Bangs to come check out his studio and he can bring his beer.

The mellow statement of “bring your beer” just plain feels good.

Going to check out a thing someone wants you to see and you can do it while hanging with a beer in your hand? Perfect.

If this isn’t my favorite Portlandia sketch of all time, it’s at least one of them.