Session Thoughts: Why Does Beer Have To Have So Many Calories?!

I am drinking this “Nerd Immunity” Pale by Bottle Logic while writing this

I would like to just stop and take the time to ask or maybe point out:

  • Why does beer have so many calories?!
  • Why does it give you a hangover if you drink too much?!

Why can’t beer stop at being delicious and giving you calm and enjoyment with a great buzz?

It’s super cool that it gives you that and I cannot stress enough how cool that is, BUT then:

  • Gives you a beer belly.
  • Liver Cancer or something.
  • Hangovers.

When you really think about it, it is very fucked up. If there is a God, why did it decide that if you enjoy food and drink, you will gain too much weight and maybe die because of it?

You could’ve let us have nice things AND not made us portly and hungover. But you didn’t.

Total dick move if you ask me.

Beer Twitter Advice: How To Like Beer Again

My first thought was: Keep drinking it. But there are better thoughts on the subject.

Here is the best of Beer Twitter’s advice:

This is a great place to start. We talk about it on the Perfect Pour; reset your palate.

I occasionally buy a 12-pack of an old favorite, Sierra Nevada Pale, and that usually makes things all freakin’ right.

Can’t go wrong supporting good people making good things.

That one falls under the resetting your palate umbrella and I’m for it.

Okie dokie:

Get your beers cold and watch some videos may be all ya need.

I will NOT endorse the wine tactic but I do endorse taking a break from beer if things are getting that bad. I probably should do this but simply don’t want to.

Oh HELL yes! 👏 Finding some hidden gem of a brewery in a new city. That will pump ya back up.

Yes yes yes 🧀. Which reminds me, I really want to put some charcuterie boards together themed for beer pairing and have a party and shit. We should ALL do this.

Nope nope nope. We done here. Chris, we are trying to fall BACK in love with beer, not block it from our feed.

How To Fall In Love With Beer Again [a recap]:

  • Drink some of your old favorite beers. Spend some time doing it.
  • Reset your palate. Drink stuff you never would normally drink. Weird styles. Even drink BAD beer.
  • Enjoy the good people around beer. Don’t overthink what you are drinking.
  • Watch other people enjoying beer. Brew some beer on your own.
  • Take a break. Simply don’t drink a damn thing for a while.
  • Focus on having the right beer with your food and go down a charcuterie cutting board hole.

If you have your own thoughts or advice on this, please leave it in the comments. And if you like pickles and olives on your charcuterie board, I think I’m falling in love with you.

Now let’s look at this board and think about the beers we want to have with it:

Board found at Natashaskitchen.com

Hard Seltzers Ain’t Hurtin’ This Beer Geek

DC Brau hard seltzer “Grapefruit Crush”

If Beer Twitter didn’t love to talk about hard seltzers so much, I don’t think I would notice them anymore.

When seltzers started becoming big and trending and we started seeing big ends of them at the grocery store and it was White Claw Summer and all that, yes, I noticed.

But now, seltzers blend into the background for me.

I can still get all the same Indie Beer I could before the seltzer boom. The taps are mostly the same. The part of the shelf I look at for beer in the grocery store, looks the same.

Although I think the Big Beer section looks like it has more seltzers and less beer, but I really don’t know.

So, what is the fuss?

Make that money. Whatever it takes for a brewery to stay Indie and open is cool by me.

Have a new seltzer release every week. Be like Humble Sea is with their beers and slightly change one ingredient and call it a brand new name and slap a new label on it every week! Go for it.

As long as I can still get all the Craft Beer I want, have your fun with your seltzers. Just keep making beer and putting on the shelves is all I ask.

The Worst Girl Scout Cookie To Be Made Into A Beer: Samoa

Hands down, the biggest piece of shit cookie the Girl Scouts offer are Samoas.

Tioga Sequoia made a beer with them.

I dunno, it’s probably a fine cookie, if you like coconut sprinkles on your junk. I don’t.

So I’m not trying this damn beer. Nope. Not gonna do it.

… *sighs* okay, well, maybe I’ll try it. BUT THATS IT! Just try it. Like, you know, a taster or whatever.

It’s actually a pretty cool label, the color is rad and-FUCK YOU, OKAY TIOGA!? I’m interested in your damn beer.

I’ll pick one up. (Released Friday)

Maybe the coconut is hidden way way wayyyy back there.

Next time make a Thin Mint beer.