The Worst Girl Scout Cookie To Be Made Into A Beer: Samoa

Hands down, the biggest piece of shit cookie the Girl Scouts offer are Samoas.

Tioga Sequoia made a beer with them.

I dunno, it’s probably a fine cookie, if you like coconut sprinkles on your junk. I don’t.

So I’m not trying this damn beer. Nope. Not gonna do it.

… *sighs* okay, well, maybe I’ll try it. BUT THATS IT! Just try it. Like, you know, a taster or whatever.

It’s actually a pretty cool label, the color is rad and-FUCK YOU, OKAY TIOGA!? I’m interested in your damn beer.

I’ll pick one up. (Released Friday)

Maybe the coconut is hidden way way wayyyy back there.

Next time make a Thin Mint beer.

Socially Distancing From Beer Gives Me Mixed Feelings

It’s happening. The Corona Virus is canceling or pushing back events and forcing beer places to temporarily close. As a consumer, I really don’t know what to do here.

On one hand, I want to respect the prevailing advice of simply staying home. Don’t move about town unless you have to.

The other? I don’t like seeing local businesses suffer. Nor do I want to see workers, that live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes rely on tips to make ends meet, suffer.

A couple weeks of little to no business can kill a small taproom and max out employee credit cards, really quick.

Damn. (That’s Fox Farm Brewery, by the way)

As I write this, I am in the camp of waiting this out a week or two. Staying home as much as I can (even though I have to go to work and have to go out for food). It changes almost by the hour so I might be doing something completely different tomorrow.

After my government recommended, “social distancing” (as an anxiety-filled loner, this is not that hard) is over and things have passed, I will go back to the breweries with a vengeance!

I’ll spend all the money I would have in the past two weeks, in one shot! Tip bigger than normal! Live. it. the. hell. up.

At this moment, the prevailing thought on Beer Twitter is to get out there and support right the hell now.

I can’t argue with that. But, then again, there is taking things too far as well:

Myself, I’m notebooking how much I think I would have spent during this time if it was a regular-ass week. Remember that. And when it’s deemed safe to get back out there, spend that, plus a little more.

Some folks are suggesting buying gift cards right now and spend them later. This is a great idea, but I don’t know of too many little breweries that have gift cards available to purchase online.

Unfortunately, I have not stocked up enough for two weeks. This would have been a start:

I just hope everyone is still there when this damn thing is done. In the meantime, I’ll just be buying beer from the store I had to go to anyway and washing my damn hands.

(This plan may be completely different in two days. It’s crazy out there)

Pizza and Beer: The Simple Guide To Pairing

Pizza and beer pairing Picture by TheWanderingGormet.com

The right beer to go with your pizza is not hard to figure out. That doesn’t mean we can’t help each other get better at beer and pizza.

You don’t need me to tell you, but, Pizza and beer is a thing. Maybe the biggest thing in the genre of pairing beer with food, and pizza with… well, anything.

Beer and pizza, while they may be two of the greatest things in the world, take up valuable calorie real estate.

So it is essential these calories are used properly. We want the optimal experience.

A Simple Guide To Pizza and Beer

But, before we go further with this post, here is a quick infographic that craftbeer.com has created, to get you quickly into your perfect pairing:

Craft Beer and Pizza pairing

Alright, now get cheesier with me and keep reading…

Beer and pizza pairing is serious.

Don’t go into your eating and drinking all willy nilly. Stay focused while enjoying all the goodness and comfort that beer and pizza provides.

The thing to keep in mind is finding a balance.

If the pizza is mild, bland, basic, then you go big, flavorful and spicy, on the beer.

If your are gorging on spicy pizza, you get a beer that is simple and mellow.

Here are five basic pizza styles to match up with the proper beer:

CHEESE PIZZA: Red Ale.

Alternatives include Wheat Beer. Ambers. Pilsners. Pales are good in this situation as well.

This is the best use of a red beer. In fact, I really don’t care to have a red without pizza around. I feel like it is a style that needs pizza or needs something else.

A red ale is like salsa. I suppose it is fine on its own but I need something to eat with it to actually enjoy it.

Maybe the best known red out here on the West Coast is the Karl Straus Red Trolley Ale. Well, best know if you have ever gone to Disneyland: California Adventure, that is and found the Karl Strauss Beer Cart.

California Adventure Beer Truck
Image from LAist.com

A magical cart it is. Find a slice of cheese pizza in the park and you are all set.

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