Category: Beer Trends

‘Smooth’ Is As Good As Any Dopey Beer Descriptor

What does “smooth” mean when describing beer? Don’t say it doesn’t mean anything because you ALL know what it means!

So, people out there on Beer Twitter making fun of smooth because it was the top description on Untappd last year.

Don’t get flipped, bro! Neophytes? Go back to your spirts cave. That’s not what most people are saying.

It’s not bitter. Easy to drink. Drinkable. Hence: SMOOTH.

Yeah maybe it’s lazy but we ALL KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS!

So back the hell off of SMOOTH! Back the hell off because smooth isn’t the only common term that means something and nothing all at once.

How about?:

  • Crisp
  • Bright
  • Flavorful
  • Light
  • Hoppy
  • Thin
  • Accessible
  • Complex
  • Balanced
  • Clean

See?! It’s all crap AND useful, at once. Unless you tear down all beer descriptors, leave smooth alone.

Deeper Take

As humans, all we really want is for things to go smoothly. We want our day to go smooth. Wedding. Trip. Latest hazy release.

Smooth is good. Smooth makes us happy.

So, as a brewer, don’t you want your beer to make people happy? If someone says your beer is “smooth”, they like your beer. Pretty nice if you think about it.

Smooth might be the most positive beer descriptor out there.

Summer Of Slush: Beer Slushies Are Good For Indie Craft Beer

Beer Geeks need to let the whole shamming of Beer Slushies subside.

I totally get the shaming, but, slushed beers are delicious. I hate saying that, but dammit, they are.

Three big reasons I like it:

  1. They keep money flowing in craft beer.
  2. Big Beer can do nothing. There is no counter. You think Texas Roadhouse is going to get a Bud Light Slush machine? Actually they might. I should shut up. Shit, I’d be surprised if there ISN’T a beer slush machince the next time I go to Texas Roadhouse or whatever.
  3. Sometimes your significant other might not be all that into beer like you so it’s hard to get them to come down to the taproom with you. But if there is a beer slush available, might be a little easier to convince them.

Aren’t breweries using beer they are having problems selling to blend into slushies?

Yeah, they probably are in many cases. What, are you a Beer Slush Snob now? Cool. Demand better from your slushes. Otherwise, what does it matter? Just drink it or don’t. Hell, it’s more interesting than a simple Lager, that brewers seem to love so much. Yeah I said it.

Continue reading “Summer Of Slush: Beer Slushies Are Good For Indie Craft Beer”

What Does ‘Crispies’ Mean in Beer?

What are “crispies” in the beer geek world?

If we are in the realm of beer geek terms, when one uses the slang “crispies” they are referring to macro beers or pilsners like a Coors Light on Bud Light or other boring corporate beers.

Also may be simply referring to beers that are kept in the crisper bin of the refrigerator. No space on the shelf so you start storing beers in the crisper.

Don’t forget the Bros and how the term crispies relate! You call them “crispy bois”. At least you could call them that.

I have two bins full of bad “crispies” waiting for a really desperate day. A day I hope never comes. At least now I know what to call them.

*Parks N Rec beer meme pictured above found on RareBeerMeme’s Instagram feed.

New Untappd Trend: Sweep The Board!

A new nerdy beer trend starts here!

Picture from www.abcmaine.beer

So I assume if you’re ready this weird and nerdy beer blog, you have probably been to a beer venue that has an Untappd Board. If you haven’t seen one, it is an electronic board above the bar, that you can see yourself displayed at the bottom of the board, checking into the beer you’re drinking at the venue.

If there are not many people checking-in while you’re there, you can have your name take up all the check-ins being displayed. You can “Sweep The Board!”

There it is. That’s the term we are calling it. Sweep The Board.

This was birthed on the Perfect Pour podcast, but we have been calling it different things. “Run the board”, “Own the Board”, “Board Sweep”.

I wanted to tighten it up and make a universal term that we can all start using, making it easier to start trending and try and make this become a thing among users of Untappd. Sweep The Board.

Here is what it looks like in real life from famous L.A. Beer Geek, ChewYourBeer:

See how Chew is kind of unsure of what to call it? (Although “Board Control” sounds kinda cool.)

Please feel free to laugh at my nerdness of all this because it probably deserves to be laughed at, but I think starting a beer trend is pretty damn cool so laugh it up, Fuzzball.

Just remember to use #SweepThe Board when you’re done laughing.

Since we’re here and in case ya didn’t know: Untappd User Name: dorktown (or search for Mikey Top Pour).