What Should I Do With These Old Beers!?

For various reasons I have these old beers.

Mostly they were bought on accident, either from not checking the dates or unable to see the dates due to the packaging. One is a gifted old beer.

There’s nothing worse than an old IPA, especially a hazy.

Should I throw them out?

I currently have the space for them. They may not taste good but they are still beer. And I don’t have an infinite beer budget and sometimes run out BUT still really want a beer.

And sometimes a dude will show up and just want beer and not care how old they are.

Well, I guess I’ll keep them around then. Since I have the space for them at the moment.

Glad I worked that “problem” out here.

If I only live bed in a place that snowed and I needed to save parking spots, my problem would be solved here:

What do you do with your old hoppy beers?

It’s All About Your Setup: Modern Times “Orderville” IPA

The importance of having a clean palate before a beer is hella underrated. We don’t think or talk about the setup to a beer, enough.

Case in point. Yesterday I had a “Coast Malone” Hazy IPA from Humble Sea Brewing. Great beer, great label.

I then went to a Modern Times “Orderville” Hazy Mosaic IPA. I love this beer, a solid go-to and…it did not taste good.

Was it old? Nope, canned four weeks prior. What the hell then?

Maybe I got a bad batch. Oh well. Not the first time.

The next day, my first beer of the day is another Orderville from the same four-pack; it was excellent. Just like I know it to be. (Isn’t the Mosaic hop magic?)

So what’s going on? It has to be the Coast Malone setup from yesterday. By the way, I like to refer to what you eat/drank/breathed before a beer as the “setup”.

I know this clean palate thing is not a revaluation. Cleansing your palate is something we know we should do. But we don’t do it that often and forget how it affects our beer judgments.

On the Perfect Pour, we have a constant stream of Krispy Crackers going. But many taprooms don’t have this option. So what do you do when you’re out and about?

One thing you can do is completely switch beer styles on your next selection. Then go back to your preferred.

Water. Having a water is something. Not great, but definitely better than nothing (and you should be hydrating anyway).

Many times I do the ‘lick your hand’ trick. It looks weird but I do it. I probably should insert a video here of me licking the side of my hang by I think WordPress has some sorta standards for hand licking porn.

Let me know if you have any palate resetting tips for me in the comments.

Cheers to a clean setup!

Anatomy Of A Hangover

25 West IPA

The drinking started on an empty stomach. That was my first mistake.

I ate a packed lunch of salami, cheese, Cheese-Its, cookies and water (in that order) at 11:30 in the morning. Drank a diet soda around 3:00. Don’t be jealous of me.

Once off work, at 5:30, we went to a new beer bar by my house, Out Of The Barrel. Here was my playlist:

Beer One: 25 West from Moonraker Brewing.

  • Clear IPA
  • 6.6% ABV
  • I rated it a 4.
  • Full pour

Beer Two: Some Grass from Moonraker Brewing.

  • Hazy IPA
  • 7% ABV
  • I rated it a 4
  • Full pour

Beer Three: Unknown: It was either Yeastbound & Down from Moonraker, or Tiger Uppercut from Fieldwork (I guess I wasn’t paying close attention).

  • Hazy IPA
  • 8% or 8.5% ABV
  • Rated…4.2?
  • 12oz pour

The Out Of The Barrel drinking stops. There is some relaxing. I buy a four-pack of Humble Sea’s Coast Malone.

Continue reading “Anatomy Of A Hangover”

‘Smooth’ Is As Good As Any Dopey Beer Descriptor

What does “smooth” mean when describing beer? Don’t say it doesn’t mean anything because you ALL know what it means!

So, people out there on Beer Twitter making fun of smooth because it was the top description on Untappd last year.

Don’t get flipped, bro! Neophytes? Go back to your spirts cave. That’s not what most people are saying.

It’s not bitter. Easy to drink. Drinkable. Hence: SMOOTH.

Yeah maybe it’s lazy but we ALL KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS!

So back the hell off of SMOOTH! Back the hell off because smooth isn’t the only common term that means something and nothing all at once.

How about?:

  • Crisp
  • Bright
  • Flavorful
  • Light
  • Hoppy
  • Thin
  • Accessible
  • Complex
  • Balanced
  • Clean

See?! It’s all crap AND useful, at once. Unless you tear down all beer descriptors, leave smooth alone.

Deeper Take

As humans, all we really want is for things to go smoothly. We want our day to go smooth. Wedding. Trip. Latest hazy release.

Smooth is good. Smooth makes us happy.

So, as a brewer, don’t you want your beer to make people happy? If someone says your beer is “smooth”, they like your beer. Pretty nice if you think about it.

Smooth might be the most positive beer descriptor out there.

The New Beer Geek’s Guide To Using Untappd

How to use Untappd

I know that Untappd has its own FAQ but how about some Untappd advice from a hardcore user, like me?

A beer nerd that is not very good at giving detailed reviews but knows that they are not good at it. That makes it cool, yeah?

Untappd gets a lot of flack, but I think it is the best beer app for journalling and tracking your beer. I have a physical beer journal (shout out to Moleskin) and I have Untappd. I use Untappd a lot more, even though I love notebooks.

Let’s look at some basics and some of the beer app’s features you might not have thought of or have forgotten about.

How to use Untappd

You have the basics down, right?:

  • Figure out it’s spelled Untappd, not Untapped.
  • Download the app.
  • Sign up for an account.
  • Make a profile.
  • Start searching for the beer you’re drinking.
  • Find friends and add them.
  • Be annoyed by badges.
  • Forget to check-in to beers.
Build A Profile Worth Seeing

A normal picture is all you really need. Don’t shy away from making a good, complete profile. You are amongst fellow beer lovers, it’s okay to shout it to the global beer garden that is Untappd “I love beer and I don’t care who knows about it!” There is very little judgment about how much beer you drink, less than you probably think. Have fun and screw those haters!

Don’t Rate Beer Styles You Know Nothing About

Nothing pisses off a brewer more than to go on Untappd, see somebody check into one of their beers, give the beer a shitty rating and then say “I have never had this style, I didn’t like it, 2 stars.”

This is why brewers hate Untappd.

Continue reading “The New Beer Geek’s Guide To Using Untappd”