Summer Of Slush: Beer Slushies Are Good For Indie Craft Beer

Beer Geeks need to let the whole shamming of Beer Slushies subside.

I totally get the shaming, but, slushed beers are delicious. I hate saying that, but dammit, they are.

Three big reasons I like it:

  1. They keep money flowing in craft beer.
  2. Big Beer can do nothing. There is no counter. You think Texas Roadhouse is going to get a Bud Light Slush machine? Actually they might. I should shut up. Shit, I’d be surprised if there ISN’T a beer slush machince the next time I go to Texas Roadhouse or whatever.
  3. Sometimes your significant other might not be all that into beer like you so it’s hard to get them to come down to the taproom with you. But if there is a beer slush available, might be a little easier to convince them.

Aren’t breweries using beer they are having problems selling to blend into slushies?

Yeah, they probably are in many cases. What, are you a Beer Slush Snob now? Cool. Demand better from your slushes. Otherwise, what does it matter? Just drink it or don’t. Hell, it’s more interesting than a simple Lager, that brewers seem to love so much. Yeah I said it.

How does one get a commercial beer slush machince?

I quickly found this website (not affiliated, just telling you about it) and they have all the machines. Maybe not so practical for a home brewer but kinda reasonable for a brewery taproom. I imagine you could make your money back in a couple of busy weekends and then it’s slushy profits forever!

Don’t ask me how to make one though. I guess you dump a bunch of sugar in with your sour IPA you can’t get rid of and then start counting all that slush monies.

If you want to go hipster with your slushies, check out what this bar in New York does:

While it may be the Summer trend for beer in 2019, I think they will be sticking around. In fact, I think slushies will be just as big in 2020, if not bigger.

Just know that if I start seeing them pop up in Chili’s, the trend is about to be over.

Why Do Brewers Love Lagers and Pilsners So Damn Much!?

Because brewers are so fucking bored with flavor and the work, they just want pilsners and lagers.

It’s a good test. A test to see if the brewer knows what the hell he is doing. If he’s got a good lager or pilsner then he probably can brew.

I had always thought that tasting a brewer’s pale is how you judge.

Brewers are annoyed that you like flavors. You dick Beer Geeks, liking all that damn flavor! Screw. You. Guys. I’m going going home with  Zero Hopped Pilsner.

Give us what we want, you brewing bros. Stop trying to shove your Pilsner on is. Homebrew your lagers and drink them all day for all I care.

You’re a damn Pro. And being pro means you have to make some stuff that is interesting and fun. There is nothing fucking interesting and fun about a clean lager.

If you want to be relive your Budweiser drinking days, then go get a Budwieser and leave us be. Where is my Mosaic hopped marshmellow hazy?

Lagers are as boring.

Stay home. Make lagers all day in your garage if they’re so fucking awesome. I’m at your taproom with cash and I want some pales with FUCKING HOPS!

I want some stouts WITH FUCKING ADJUNKS BECAUSE ADJUNKS TASTE GOOD!

I don’t care if you think I’m a child, I alreay know I’m a child and I don’t have to eat my veggies. I can eat and drink whatever I damn well please and I want to give you money for a beer with a shit ton of Mosaic and I don’t need to see your eye rolls.

I don’t need to hear your sighs. Just make the damn beer and be happy you get to do something you love and I get to pay you for it.

END RANT! I love you brewer guys. Just beer drinker venting attempting comedy.

xoxo

-Mikey

Kinda sorta related:

Sally Citra from Mikkeller SD: HAD IT!

Sally Citra IPA 16oz can

Sally Citra from Mikkeller Brewing San Diego. I had it. Bought a four pack. Here are thoughts about that.

Let me start by saying, I judge beers by how they taste… because that’s how people judge… beer things. But I also judge them by their price. I guess we all do that, either concisely or sub-concisely.

If I’m going to pay $18 for a 4-pack of 16oz beers, I want socks being blown off. My socks stayed on for Mikkeller SD’s, Sally Citra. But, I might have had to pull my socks up ever so slightly.

Definitely not a bad beer. A nice beer, in fact, it’s a very clean beer. I love good clean Citra heavy West Coast IPA. But, the price point really hurt it.

Sally Citra is not worth the price.

UNLESS you have some money in your Beer Budget for exploring. In which case I am very jealous of you because building up a beer budget that has a sub-category for exploring is a big goal of mine.

Here is where my judgment of the beer becomes negative.

The price point. For the 4-pack of 16oz cans, I paid $17.99 at Whole Foods Market in Fresno. Which can be a sorta fair price for a good 4-pack of Indie Beer. I’m not opposed to paying that much. But I have to stretch dollars the best I can so I really take a risk when those 4-packs get up there in price.

Truth is, I would be glowing about this beer if it was $12.99 for the 4-pack. But $17.99, right or wrong, ruins judging the beer in an honest way. Sorry Mikkeller SD and Whole Foods.

Let’s see what others are saying on Untappd:

@RickAus10

and well that is about the extent of the reviews on Untappd, outside of “tasty hazy”, which is sometimes the extent of my reviews on Untappd so I shouldn’t judge.

To give a hazy sum up, it’s a nice beer that is overpriced. If you see it on draft somewhere, give it a try. If you have a nice beer budget and a love for Citra, give it a try. Otherwise, don’t worry yourself about Sally.

Flagship February Continues On… Everywhere

Flagship February

Don’t be bummed Flagship February is over. It is still going at every place that has craft beer. Really. Check you Untappd feed if you don’t believe me.

Here is a handy list of places that will continue Flagshipping, way after February… like, all damn year and forever.

  • Chilli’s.
  • Red Robin.
  • Whole Foods.
  • Red Lobster.
  • Texas Roadhouse.
  • Buffalo Wild Wings.
  • Your Uncle’s.
  • Applebees.
  • The Denny’s in Barstow.
  • 711.
  • The Cantina at Mos Isles, Tatooine.
  • Every Indian Gaming Casino.
  • Friday’s.
  • Dan and Julie’s Wedding.
  • The White House When Obama Was There.
  • Chevron Gas Stations.
  • Fresno Yosemite International Airport.
  • That Taco Bell That Serves Alchohol.
  • Every Restaurant In Downtown Disney.
  • The Bowling Alley From The Big Lebowski’s.
  • Every Sushi, Tepanaki and Mexican Food Place.
  • The Tailgates at Every Show on the Korn & Alice In Chains Tour.
  • The Place Dekard Eats Noodles At In Blade Runner.
  • Circle K.
  • Flight 1138 From Los Angels to Maui.
  • Chotchkie’s.
  • Your Friend From Work’s Ski Boat.

All kidding aside, I think Flagship February is a cool thing. But my point is, Flagships are not dead. Diminished, sure. But definitely not dead.

They live on, and probably always will, at more places than you think.

Five Things The Big Untappd News Could Be

UPDATE: The “Big News” is Untappd is putting on a festival in NC. *yawn*

I shouldn’t be so curious about it (although I do like writing about Untappd), but Untappd is about to make a big announcement. They have been hyping it for days.

More than the time they got bought out, even. The folks at Untappd are excited about this, so it must be good, yes?

They did have one of their co-founders leave recently and that makes me nervous. Like, “We got him out of the way, now we can finally do that thing he thought was dumb!”

So what the hell is it?! Here are five theories out there.

Untappd Is Getting Bought By The Evil Empire, ABinBev.

Like I said, they’ve already been bought-out so I can’t imagine it being that. I do worry that it could be some sort of Big Beer related partnership, though. Please no. Just…no.

Major App Update.

Yes, of course, but what will be in the update? Would they be making a big deal like this over a new feature? That would be lame. Letting you send pics in your DMs would not be announcement worthy.

In fact, a handful of new features is not hype-worthy too me either.

Untappd Buys-out Another Thing.

This could be it. Credit @beardedbrewer87 for this idea. They buy another social app that gives Untappd a whole other level of … social, stuff.

Lord don’t let it be that they bought a wine check-in app and now you can check booze and wine too. We might riot.

Beer Festival

Boring. If this is it that is so boring. Beer festivals are fine but not fine enough to hype it up in this way. Pretzel necklaces are not everything.

Badges

Dude, I like badges as much as the next user but if this is all about badges then screw you guys. In fact, there had better at least be a “Got Screwed” badge, if this is just about badges. We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

Clueless In Fresno

I am going with an update to the app that adds a major feature. What that is I have no idea.

We’ll see as they announce it at 1o:00 AM PST.

[Top photo cred to Untappd]