I was always a little frustrated with Portlandia never developing a brewer or beer geek character on the show.
It is such an obvious fit for a show about Portland culture and its nerds to have a quirky beer nerd character – too obvious for Fred and Carrie I guess.
At least the characters occasionally are having a beer in sketches. One of this best is the above sketch “The Studio” which starts with Fred’s Studio Guy character (maybe my favorite) asking Lance Bangs to come check out his studio and he can bring his beer.
The mellow statement of “bring your beer” just plain feels good.
Going to check out a thing someone wants you to see and you can do it while hanging with a beer in your hand? Perfect.
If this isn’t my favorite Portlandia sketch of all time, it’s at least one of them.
I didn’t mean for this to be an experiment but it turned out to be.
On Friday The Perfect Pour celebrated its 400th episode. We all took the day off work so we could podcast live, on the same day the show gets released.
Originally the plan was to do it at 6AM since that’s the time we jokingly claim we record. We ended up landing on 10AM.
We would start drinking beer at TEN IN THE FREAKING MORNING.
That’s fine if you have nothing to do the rest of the day, but I had some things.
A kid in the house doing virtual learning all day with a lot of homework to catch up on.
A podcast to edit.
Support for my wife going to get her second vaccination shot and wanting to be able to drive her home in case it makes her feel funny.
Dinner.
A newsletter to write.
Point is, enough going on for the need to be alert (not drunk or sleepy) the rest of the day.
BUT, I wanted to drink the same amount of beer I always do on the show, regardless of time.
Well the day is nearly done and I’m here to tell you, I did it. I made it through the day with all things accomplished.
But how did I do it? I feel the need to pass on this sort of Day Drinking Guide to you – just in case you need to drink beer in the morning sometime and still have a productive day.
Start with a good base. A good setup.
That usually means a strong breakfast. A thick one. I did not though. I had a piece of cheese, a piece of sourdough bread and three cups of coffee. That’s a bad base.
10:00AM
The podcast begins, as I drink three 16oz beers all the way down. That was about three hours tops. The beers (along with my neighbor’s cat) are pictured above.
Core Values from Coronado Brewing & Karl Strauss. Apple WCIPA, 6.8% ABV.
All Good from Loomis Basin Brewing. HIPA, 7.2% ABV.
Wakey Wakey from New Glory Brewing. Oatmeal Coffee Porter at 6.5%.
12:30PM
The podcast is over. I have a meat heavy pizza from Pieology.
Water. Diet soda. Another water. Another diet soda. Crackers.
3:00PM
I’m basically sober. The buzz from the morning beers is gone. Just slightly tired.
It’s time for the vax backup, but it turns out I’m not needed.
3:30PM
I could start drinking again but don’t. I know I need to stay awake to write, help with school and stay fresh for diner. Be a human and stuff.
5:30PM
Pick up diner. Chinese from China Bistro (it’s a takeout kinda day).
I have more water and soda with my Mongolian Beef and fried rice.
I’m fully reset and ready for beers again, almost as if I had not drank earlier.
7:30PM
Amarilla Gorilla from Smog City Brewing. IPA, 7.4%.
Soft & Fluffy from Temblor Brewing. Marshmallow IPA. 8.0%.
11:30PM
I hit the wall. Normally I would have had another beer at this point but no interest now and can’t stay awake.
It’s over, but mission accomplished.
Significant morning drinking and a full day of being present, can be accomplished.
Nobody talks about Untappd more than I do. I love it. But sometimes… it tires me the hell out.
I just want to drink my damn beer and not worry about taking a perfect flipping picture and putting it on Instagram or checking it in on Untappd.
It can be exhausting. Especially when you’re drunk.
But. But but but BUT, I often DO like posting on Untappd.
I like checking-in Uniques. Writing a little review in hopes it helps someone or the brewer. Or reminds me in the future to get this beer again. Or don’t get it.
I like following other people, seeing what everyone is drinking. I love that ChewYourBeer likes to boast about being the first to drink a beer in his community:
Chew’s first Fieldwork!
People using Untappd in a creative way is the best. It’s pure.
Unlike Instagram, there is no game behind posting. You’re not using hashtags or whatever, to try and gain followers or ‘game’ some algorithm.
You post for you and your beer friends.
So yeah, I get too tired to use the app sometimes and miss posting a new beer. But I always sober-up and comeback. It’s my favorite beer community.
Black IPAs have already made their “comeback” and are moments away from hibernating again.
If you have a BIPA in the tank, cool. It’ll be fine. But don’t get too crazy.
I only mention it because I’m observing a lot of buzz from people just now figuring out Black IPAs have come back, and are acting like they are a permanent thing.
Learn from history, my children, they are not BACK back.
I think BIPAs can stick around. But only by just being released during Black IPA Season.
What is Black IPA Season?
What’s that you say? You didn’t know there was a BIPA Season? Well there isn’t one. But we are making one, right here, today.
January 1st – March 30th. I declare this to be Black IPA/Cascadian Dark Ale Season, forever and more and stuff.
