The drinking started on an empty stomach. That was my first mistake.
I ate a packed lunch of salami, cheese, Cheese-Its, cookies and water (in that order) at 11:30 in the morning. Drank a diet soda around 3:00. Don’t be jealous of me.
Once off work, at 5:30, we went to a new beer bar by my house, Out Of The Barrel. Here was my playlist:
Beer One: 25 West from Moonraker Brewing.
Clear IPA
6.6% ABV
I rated it a 4.
Full pour
Beer Two: Some Grass from Moonraker Brewing.
Hazy IPA
7% ABV
I rated it a 4
Full pour
Beer Three: Unknown: It was either Yeastbound & Down from Moonraker, or Tiger Uppercut from Fieldwork (I guess I wasn’t paying close attention).
Hazy IPA
8% or 8.5% ABV
Rated…4.2?
12oz pour
The Out Of The Barrel drinking stops. There is some relaxing. I buy a four-pack of Humble Sea’s Coast Malone.
What does “smooth” mean when describing beer? Don’t say it doesn’t mean anything because you ALL know what it means!
So, people out there on Beer Twitter making fun of smooth because it was the top description on Untappd last year.
99% of the use of "smooth" is simply coming from relative beer neophytes who don't possess any other descriptive language and are simply using it to mean "good" in any way, shape or form. And even moreso, when it comes to spirits.
Don’t get flipped, bro! Neophytes? Go back to your spirts cave. That’s not what most people are saying.
It’s not bitter. Easy to drink. Drinkable. Hence: SMOOTH.
Yeah maybe it’s lazy but we ALL KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS!
So back the hell off of SMOOTH! Back the hell off because smooth isn’t the only common term that means something and nothing all at once.
How about?:
Crisp
Bright
Flavorful
Light
Hoppy
Thin
Accessible
Complex
Balanced
Clean
See?! It’s all crap AND useful, at once. Unless you tear down all beer descriptors, leave smooth alone.
Deeper Take
As humans, all we really want is for things to go smoothly. We want our day to go smooth. Wedding. Trip. Latest hazy release.
Smooth is good. Smooth makes us happy.
So, as a brewer, don’t you want your beer to make people happy? If someone says your beer is “smooth”, they like your beer. Pretty nice if you think about it.
Smooth might be the most positive beer descriptor out there.
I know that Untappd has its own FAQ but how about some Untappd advice from a hardcore user, like me?
A beer nerd that is not very good at giving detailed reviews but knows that they are not good at it. That makes it cool, yeah?
Untappd gets a lot of flack, but I think it is the best beer app for journalling and tracking your beer. I have a physical beer journal (shout out to Moleskine) and I have Untappd. I use Untappd a lot more, even though I love notebooks.
Let’s look at some basics and some of the beer app’s features you might not have thought of or have forgotten about.
How to use Untappd
Let’s start with the basics of how to use Untappd and then further down I will give you some tips on how to enjoy Untappd more:
Figure out it’s spelled Untappd, not Untapped.
Sign up for an account and make a profile, use a legit picture in your profile.
Search for the beer you’re currently drinking or maybe one you drank yesterday.
Check-in that beer – boom, you’re now Untapping
Start finding friends or people that look cool, and request to be friends.
Receive badges from your check-ins and wonder if you should care about them.
Eventually forget to check-in to beers.
Okay. Now that you’ve begun your Untappd journey, here are some tips:
Build A Profile Worth Seeing
A normal picture is all you really need. Don’t shy away from making a good, complete profile. You are amongst fellow beer lovers, it’s okay to shout it to the global beer garden that is Untappd “I love beer and I don’t care who knows about it!” There is very little judgment about how much beer you drink, less than you probably think. Have fun and screw those haters!
Don’t Rate Beer Styles You Know Nothing About
Nothing pisses off a brewer more than to go on Untappd, see somebody check into one of their beers, give the beer a shitty rating and then say, “I have never had this style, I didn’t like it, 2 stars.”
Beer Questions: Can A Gas Card Be Used To Buy Craft Beer?
Payday is several days away and all you really want is a 6-pack of good beer to get you through the week.
The only way you have to pay for anything is a credit card from a gas station.
So this begs the question: Can I buy beer with my, say, Shell Credit Card?
Yes! The answer is yes.
Desperate times call for desperate beer purchases.
Look, man, you should not be doing this. A lot of gas credit cards have high-interest rates. Like 23% rates.
I’m no math wiz but you are paying a lot more for that beer when you use a card.
That said, when you need to have some beer and you have no other means and you have space on your gas card, it’s there for you. It’s been days since you’ve been able to check-in a beer on Untappd. You NEED THIS, MAN!
I have used a Shell credit card to buy beer at a Shell station, several times, so you won’t get any judgment from me.
This may or may not be cool across all the States.
As far as I can tell you can do this with most cards. From Shell cards, Chevron, 76, Texaco, or whatever weird gas company you have in your town.
Every state’s rules have the possibility of being different.
It might be smart to make a quick call to the gas station to make sure you can use your card to buy that tasty beer. Just don’t let on it’s for you when you call, if you are like me and get embarrassed by that sort of thing.
“Yeah so my friend wanted me to call and ask if you take your gas card for payment if one wanted to purchase an alcoholic beverage? Also, do you have any hazy beer right now?… asking for a friend still.”
Of note: You may have a “fuel only” restriction placed on your card if it is a business account. So be warned. Have a really rad excuse lined up when your boss asks about that $16.99 charge for a 4-pack of “How’s It Hazing, Bro?!”
Can you buy alcohol with a GIFT card?
No. This is different from a gas CREDIT card. Not really sure why.
To me it makes more sense to restrict a gas credit card from buying alcohol than a gift card.
A gift card normally works like cash.
Somebody paid cash for the gift card. You can buy beer with cash. Why can’t you buy beer at a gas station with a gas gift card!?
I guess it’s fine for gas companies to make that credit card rate money with beer.
