What Does ‘Crispies’ Mean in Beer?

What are “crispies” in the beer geek world?

If we are in the realm of beer geek terms, when one uses the slang “crispies” they are referring to macro beers or pilsners like a Coors Light on Bud Light or other boring corporate beers.

Also may be simply referring to beers that are kept in the crisper bin of the refrigerator. No space on the shelf so you start storing beers in the crisper.

Don’t forget the Bros and how the term crispies relate! You call them “crispy bois”. At least you could call them that.

I have two bins full of bad “crispies” waiting for a really desperate day. A day I hope never comes. At least now I know what to call them.

*Parks N Rec beer meme pictured above found on RareBeerMeme’s Instagram feed.

Flagship February Continues On… Everywhere

Flagship February

Don’t be bummed Flagship February is over. It is still going at every place that has craft beer. Really. Check you Untappd feed if you don’t believe me.

Here is a handy list of places that will continue Flagshipping, way after February… like, all damn year and forever.

  • Chilli’s.
  • Red Robin.
  • Whole Foods.
  • Red Lobster.
  • Texas Roadhouse.
  • Buffalo Wild Wings.
  • Your Uncle’s.
  • Applebees.
  • The Denny’s in Barstow.
  • 711.
  • The Cantina at Mos Isles, Tatooine.
  • Every Indian Gaming Casino.
  • Friday’s.
  • Dan and Julie’s Wedding.
  • The White House When Obama Was There.
  • Chevron Gas Stations.
  • Fresno Yosemite International Airport.
  • That Taco Bell That Serves Alchohol.
  • Every Restaurant In Downtown Disney.
  • The Bowling Alley From The Big Lebowski’s.
  • Every Sushi, Tepanaki and Mexican Food Place.
  • The Tailgates at Every Show on the Korn & Alice In Chains Tour.
  • The Place Dekard Eats Noodles At In Blade Runner.
  • Circle K.
  • Flight 1138 From Los Angels to Maui.
  • Chotchkie’s.
  • Your Friend From Work’s Ski Boat.

All kidding aside, I think Flagship February is a cool thing. But my point is, Flagships are not dead. Diminished, sure. But definitely not dead.

They live on, and probably always will, at more places than you think.

Five Things The Big Untappd News Could Be

UPDATE: The “Big News” is Untappd is putting on a festival in NC. *yawn*

I shouldn’t be so curious about it (although I do like writing about Untappd), but Untappd is about to make a big announcement. They have been hyping it for days.

More than the time they got bought out, even. The folks at Untappd are excited about this, so it must be good, yes?

They did have one of their co-founders leave recently and that makes me nervous. Like, “We got him out of the way, now we can finally do that thing he thought was dumb!”

So what the hell is it?! Here are five theories out there.

Untappd Is Getting Bought By The Evil Empire, ABinBev.

Like I said, they’ve already been bought-out so I can’t imagine it being that. I do worry that it could be some sort of Big Beer related partnership, though. Please no. Just…no.

Major App Update.

Yes, of course, but what will be in the update? Would they be making a big deal like this over a new feature? That would be lame. Letting you send pics in your DMs would not be announcement worthy.

In fact, a handful of new features is not hype-worthy too me either.

Untappd Buys-out Another Thing.

This could be it. Credit @beardedbrewer87 for this idea. They buy another social app that gives Untappd a whole other level of … social, stuff.

Lord don’t let it be that they bought a wine check-in app and now you can check booze and wine too. We might riot.

Beer Festival

Boring. If this is it that is so boring. Beer festivals are fine but not fine enough to hype it up in this way. Pretzel necklaces are not everything.

Badges

Dude, I like badges as much as the next user but if this is all about badges then screw you guys. In fact, there had better at least be a “Got Screwed” badge, if this is just about badges. We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

Clueless In Fresno

I am going with an update to the app that adds a major feature. What that is I have no idea.

We’ll see as they announce it at 1o:00 AM PST.

[Top photo cred to Untappd]

Hidden Beer Cooler | How To Hide Your Beer

We’ve all done it. You bring good beer to a party or you have good beer at yours. You want everyone to enjoy themselves and maybe even discover a beer they have not tried.

BUT!

You have beers in that ice-chest exclusively for you. Ones you only want to drink. You got to bury them or come up with a plan.

Let’s brainstorm some ideas. Even if some are obvious.

Cooler With a Hidden Compartment

I really wanted to find a magic cooler that has a false bottom that one could easily get to and not draw attention. That does not seem to exsist.

But there is one dude that (if you’re good with working with wood) shows you how to make a small hidden compartment in the lid of an ice-chest:

Yeah, I’m not going through all that. Plus, it is not practical enough to keep something as big as beer cans or bottles and hold something that would keep that false top cold. Moving on.

Hidden Beer Cooler

Now we’re going to try and flat out hide the cooler. Put it in an odd spot that does not draw attention to where you’re going, but also can be accesses by you without hassle.

  • IN THE BEDROOM. This would be weird to do at somebody else’s place, but totally possible at your own.
  • THE TOILET TANK. I suppose you could fashion some sort of cooler that would go inside the tank of the main toilet. Maybe big enough for some cans but still let the toilets flusher still work probably. This is hardcore and would require ingenuity I don’t have.
  • COOLER IN THE BUSHES. The grassy knol where there was a second cooler. Hide it in the trees, dude. “Why does Mikey keep going over into the bushes?” “Yeah, and now he somehow has a new beer?”
  • WITH THE PURSES. Get one of them cooler bags, one that looks like maybe it’s a mom purse. Leave it amongst the other “bags” and hopefully nobody will see you checking the coat and bags area every 20 minutes.
  • BEER CLOSET. If you are lucky enough to have a walk-in closet, you now have a Beer Closet. This may require you to sneak away and do some chugging.

Does Beer Expire? Can You Drink It?

Can beer go bad?

Hell yes, it can go bad. Sometimes it’s bad as soon as it’s packaged, am I right?! Sorry, never mind the jokes, does beer expire? Yes beer can go bad or expire or both.

But only bad in the sense that it tastes awful, not bad like, you might die if you drink it. It’s the infected bottles you have to worry about and even then I would not worry too much.

Old beer just tastes bad. If you take a sip and it’s awful you can move on rather quickly and not be in any kind of trouble.

How do you know when beer goes bad?

Some things to look for, obvious or not

  • Check the date. Unfortunately not all beer as an expiration date or a packaged date. If it has a date and it’s a hoppy beer, you might as well put it back and move on if the date is more than three months old.
  • Look at the color. If it’s cloudy and it’s not really supposed to be a hazy beer, something ain’t right.
  • Is it sealed? Once in a while a bottle is not sealed right and there might be a little junk around the camp. Also, if you open it up and there is no “pachsst” sound or no carbonation leaving, probably not a good thing.

What is the shelf life of beer?

This depends on the style.

IPAs and Pales are getting old as soon as they are put into a can. Ideally they are best on day one. Realistically, you have a good three month window on hoppy beers – maybe a little longer if it is one that is high in alcohol.

Lager and Pilsners last longer. To me, they are already kinda skunked but that’s just personal preference. Unless it’s a hoppy lager, it does not make much difference as far as I am concerned. But fresh is always best.

Stouts and Porters are good ones to cellar if they are high in alcohol and are low in adjuncts like, say, coffee. So drinking an old stout is totally cool and even encouraged.

Sours can be better the older they get. They can also get worse. Drink it and take some notes in your beer drinking notebook.

Is it safe to drink after the expiration date?

Yes, mostly. Being there is alcohol involved, most of the bad stuff that could develop in old liquid, won’t get a chance to live. So yeah, it’s pretty safe to drink.

Really, all you’re risking is a possible slightly rough day tomorrow on your bathroom break. Totally worth it, I say. Heck, a really good hazy beer can mess up your system much more than an old beer can.

If your beer is infected, that’s another thing. If you want to be able to tell exactly what the infection is, you can read up on it at the Thrillist.

How to read beer expiration dates

If you’re lucky enough to be holding a beer with an actual date printed on it, you’re cool and we can figure this out.

  • Date it was packaged (when it was put in a bottle or can).
  • Best buy date. (The date the brewery wants you to drink it buy)
  • Julian date. Some breweries use this and I don’t have the brain power to explain it to you here. But Sciencing knows how to calculate the Julian date so I will leave it to them.

The best for us, the drinker, is the “born on” or packaged date because it lets YOU decided what is the best date to drink it.

Also good when the brewery markets the actual beer to be drank by a certain date like Stone does with its Enjoy By series:

Tip to brewers: I love when breweries get cute with the stamp/date on the bottom of their cans. But not when I cannot figure out if the date is a packaged date or a drink-by date.

Drinking expired beer

It is tough to throw out or “drain pour” beer. I know. I have a Pizza Port “Swami” IPA in the fridge that is over a year old and I can’t seem to let go of it. I really want to figure out how I can drink old IPAs and still enjoy them.

Like, be so good at tasting old beer that I can actually enjoy it. Maybe the Beer Temple has found a way to do that:

It’s something to try anyway. There are days I have used a gas credit card to buy beer so I can be desperate enough to drink old beer.

So, Does Beer Expire? Yes and No

Beer does expire. But it’s different from going bad and being infected. If it’s simply old, it’s safe to drink. You just might have to work at it to make it enjoyable.