It sure seems like drinking beer cleans your system because the morning after a round of Hazy IPAs can be brutal. It feels like you must have cleared out everything.
It makes sense that it feels a night of alcohol poisoning heavy beer drinking, would purge your system of whatever weak ass crap that is hiding out in your body.
Does beer clean your system?
The boiled down answer is no, it does not clean your system. Probably not how you feel like it does anyway. But, there is some cleaning that I will look at in a bit.
Drinking beer (or any alcohol for that matter) will take water from your system. It will also make your kidneys work harder because you are dehydrating yourself with the boozing.
So all the things being “cleansed” from your body are mostly the byproduct of being dehydrated.
You are making your body work its butt off to get back to where it was prior to drinking. So it feels like you are cleansing in some weird way. But really you are just hungover.
Why Does Beer Dehydrate You When It’s Mostly Water?!
The effects of alcohol, whether it’s drinking beer (or whatever other booze you damn well fancy) for some messed up reason, makes you pee a lot.
Yes, I know what you are thinking right now “Well of course it does, you damn beer blogging idiot, it is liquid!”
Yeah well, get this weird fact I never knew, the alcohol in beer makes you PEE EVEN MORE THAN THE AMOUNT OF BEER YOU DRANK!
I guess that is the dehydrate part. (duh, Mike)
It is weird as hell to me but the alcohol actually forces your body to not only pee out the beer you just drank but it also takes some water from your body, that is not involved in this beer drinking, and makes you pee that out too.
Your small intestine is a fickle little beast.
Does beer detox the body?
What DOES beer clean out then? What am I clearing out of my system if I pee everything out? If I chug more water than beer, what will be left in my system?
Well, the one thing in your body does like about beer is it could help your system clear out kidney stones:
According to a study published by the American Journal of Epidemiology in 1999, beer reduces the risk of developing kidney stones by 40%.
Beer My Guest
Beer is a diuretic that stimulates kidney function (in good health) and facilitates the elimination of toxins, waste and excess water retained in the body.
Dude. That is “Beer My Guest” saying that so you KNOW it is true! — I kid, I kid.
Since we are in the neighborhood, there are some more beer and system questions to ask…
How long does it take for a beer to clear your system?
Let’s look at the various facts that float around how long that DIPA might stay in your body.
- The alcohol in beer takes around 60 to 90 minutes to give you peak buzz.
- Beer can be detected in your urine 12 to 130 hours after your boozing.
- Your body gets rid of half of the alcohol in four to five hours.
- Women take longer to process alcohol (I did not know this).
If you want the heavy duty info on this kind of stuff, check out this Cleveland Clinic post.
What does beer do to my small intestine?
Why are we talking about the small intestine? I never think about the small intestine, especially during some heavy drinking.
Well, my research about beer in your system brought up a lot of intestine talk. So here we are.
The alcohol in beer (or in pretty much all alcoholic drinks), messes with the stomach’s acid production. It affects the way the stomach normally stops bad bacteria.
This breakdown allows some bacteria to get into your small intestine.
You may not have wanted to know this. I for sure didn’t. But there it is.
Yet, it’s probably good information and junk. And since I do have some pretty wicked heartburn at times, that all makes sense.
None of this will stop me or even slow me down. But at least I know what is going on when I feel like shit after drinking sometimes.
Dammit, I hate learning things.
Oh and one thing to think about: if you are drinking on an empty stomach, that alcohol goes straight on through your stomach and to those sexy small intestines of yours.
So yeah, always eat before a drinking session – don’t be like me that “one” time.
Let’s be done with this
Alright. So now we know. Beer doesn’t really “clear” the system. It takes water from the system.
But, it ultimately might keep you from getting kidney stones, and is still fun even if it doesn’t clean you out like you’d like.
Just remember to keep drinking water in your next session. If you forget, make sure to have some Pedialyte around to help your broke-ass body feel better.
🍻🤣✌️
