I’m Trying To Decide Which Hop To Drop From My Life

I really don’t like the taste of old IPAs. I suppose everyone can say that, but I really really don’t.

Depending how low I am on beer supply, if I buy a six-pack of (what turns out to be) old tasting beer, I will drain-pour the whole damn thing, three sips in.

It’s so bad that even if a fresh beer has a hop that brushes up against that old beer flavor, I’m the hell out of there.

I am getting that from a recent batch of Modern Times “Star Cloud”. Not so bad that I want to pour it out, but there is an issue here and it might be personal.

It’s a newish batch (only six weeks old). It was in the cooler of a Sprouts Market, so I dont think it took any extreme temperature changes.

Yet it reminds me of an older IPA. Notes of old. Could it be the hops used? I’m leaning toward this.

Citra is the featured hop. I have never gotten “old” from a Citra heavy beer. So I know it’s not Citra – at least I’m pretty sure. I fucking love most Citra based beers.

The other three?

Motueka: Its a New Zealand hop that features fruit and citrus notes. I would have picked this one before knowing anything, but it sounds fine.
Cashmere: Lemon lime, melon, peach, tangerine. Uh ohhh, melon huh? Yeah, I don’t like melon. This is a possibility.
Centennial: Citrus. Lemon. Floral. Interesting, sometimes I’m not down with the floral notes.

So my issue with the Star Cloud is likely the Cashmere or Centennial. Maybe both.

It could be the combo of melon and floral. It also could be just the melon.

My pick is Cashmere. I don’t usually have a problem with floral mixed in with other flavors I dig. And I know I like Centennial featuring beers, normally.

Time to start giving a hard look at Cashmere with a side-eye for Centennial.

The New Yorker’s Spot On Spoof Of Brewery Tours and Bro Breweries

“Yeah, bro, I’m totally getting the IPA taste in the front”

Well done, Eddie Small, via the New Yorker.

This sendup of a brewery tour had me noding my head yes and laughing.

Highlights:

Hale Valley Brewery—one of just seventeen microbreweries in Litchfield County, Connecticut, that has the word “Valley” in its name.
….Adam & Phillip decided to open up their microbrewery in Litchfield County because, as soon as they saw how beautiful it was here, they knew it was the only place where they could make their beer taste as great as they had always imagined.
…Now we’re going to start the tour in what we call the “brewing room,” where you’ll have the opportunity to sample individual beer ingredients on their own, when they all still taste bad and nonalcoholic.

Go read it, anybody that’s noticed the occasional Business Bro Brewery or have been on one-too-many tours, will find it a fun read.

Bring Your Beer: “The Studio” from Portlandia

I was always a little frustrated with Portlandia never developing a brewer or beer geek character on the show.

It is such an obvious fit for a show about Portland culture and its nerds to have a quirky beer nerd character – too obvious for Fred and Carrie I guess.

At least the characters occasionally are having a beer in sketches. One of this best is the above sketch “The Studio” which starts with Fred’s Studio Guy character (maybe my favorite) asking Lance Bangs to come check out his studio and he can bring his beer.

The mellow statement of “bring your beer” just plain feels good.

Going to check out a thing someone wants you to see and you can do it while hanging with a beer in your hand? Perfect.

If this isn’t my favorite Portlandia sketch of all time, it’s at least one of them.

How To Drink Beer In The Morning [and stay present all day]

I didn’t mean for this to be an experiment but it turned out to be.

On Friday The Perfect Pour celebrated its 400th episode. We all took the day off work so we could podcast live, on the same day the show gets released.

Originally the plan was to do it at 6AM since that’s the time we jokingly claim we record. We ended up landing on 10AM.

We would start drinking beer at TEN IN THE FREAKING MORNING.

That’s fine if you have nothing to do the rest of the day, but I had some things.

A kid in the house doing virtual learning all day with a lot of homework to catch up on.
A podcast to edit.
Support for my wife going to get her second vaccination shot and wanting to be able to drive her home in case it makes her feel funny.
Dinner.
A newsletter to write.

Point is, enough going on for the need to be alert (not drunk or sleepy) the rest of the day.

BUT, I wanted to drink the same amount of beer I always do on the show, regardless of time.

Well the day is nearly done and I’m here to tell you, I did it. I made it through the day with all things accomplished.

But how did I do it? I feel the need to pass on this sort of Day Drinking Guide to you – just in case you need to drink beer in the morning sometime and still have a productive day.

Start with a good base. A good setup.

That usually means a strong breakfast. A thick one. I did not though. I had a piece of cheese, a piece of sourdough bread and three cups of coffee. That’s a bad base.

10:00AM

The podcast begins, as I drink three 16oz beers all the way down. That was about three hours tops. The beers (along with my neighbor’s cat) are pictured above.

Core Values from Coronado Brewing & Karl Strauss. Apple WCIPA, 6.8% ABV.
All Good from Loomis Basin Brewing. HIPA, 7.2% ABV.
Wakey Wakey from New Glory Brewing. Oatmeal Coffee Porter at 6.5%.

12:30PM

The podcast is over. I have a meat heavy pizza from Pieology.

Water. Diet soda. Another water. Another diet soda. Crackers.

3:00PM

I’m basically sober. The buzz from the morning beers is gone. Just slightly tired.

It’s time for the vax backup, but it turns out I’m not needed.

3:30PM

I could start drinking again but don’t. I know I need to stay awake to write, help with school and stay fresh for diner. Be a human and stuff.

5:30PM

Pick up diner. Chinese from China Bistro (it’s a takeout kinda day).

I have more water and soda with my Mongolian Beef and fried rice.

I’m fully reset and ready for beers again, almost as if I had not drank earlier.

7:30PM

Amarilla Gorilla from Smog City Brewing. IPA, 7.4%.
Soft & Fluffy from Temblor Brewing. Marshmallow IPA. 8.0%.

11:30PM

I hit the wall. Normally I would have had another beer at this point but no interest now and can’t stay awake.

It’s over, but mission accomplished.

Significant morning drinking and a full day of being present, can be accomplished.

Hope this dorky guide helps you sometime.