I’m a simple man. I like my showers hot and my beer from a bag.

So, um yeah, I drank a bag of beer today. Well, I didn’t drink it in one sitting. I’m not a monster.

Whilst looking for lunch options on Door Dash, BJ’s Brewhouse came up. I couldn’t help but notice the beer. Beer delivery was an option.

I was needing to get beer today and wasn’t looking forward to leaving the house. And now I’m staring at a beer menu with beer that could be on my front door in 30 minutes and I don’t have to leave the front porch today?!

I’m doing it.

It cost $20 (plus $2 for the container), for a 128-ounce plastic bag of fermented liquid.

Piranha Pale is not one of my favorite beers. It can be okay in the restaurant. Kinda in the same ballpark as a Sierra Nevada Pale, but maltier.

But BEER FROM A BAG! Brought to my door 30 minutes after I ordered it! That’s cool, right? Cool enough, pal.

Is is better than a beer from a growler or crowler? Well, no. But it’s slightly cheaper than getting a growler. Almost the same price as a crowler.

The beer tastes the same as from a growler. At this point, I have so many growlers lying around accomplishing nothing, it’s kinda nice not adding to the collection.

Here I am pouring some:

It actually pours easier than a crowler does.

There can’t be many places using beer bags (and I am not talking about these kind of beer bags), but If you run across golden bags somewhere, I recommend buying one. Delivery or take home, it doesn’t matter, it will be fun as hell.

Fun conversation piece plus you get the same beer you would from a growler so, why not?

I’m still not sure about all this. Breweries and beer bars letting people actually sit down and hang, when things are still shit. But, the COVID-Keg has been tapped, people are going to drink.

I still think staying home is the best option BUT if I do head out to a brewery and sit down to have something hoppy, here are things I will need to feel RELATIVELY comfortable:

• The brewery has been taking this pandemic seriously the whole time.
• Outdoor area for sitting or standing.
• Workers wearing masks when around beer or serving area.
• Actively see wiping down of surfaces after use.
• All patrons wearing masks when they are not drinking.

If all five are not there, I’m not staying and I’m probably not picking up beer to take home either, ya filthy animals.

You people know that if you stay long enough youz gonna need to go pee, right? The same bathroom that was a germ cesspool BEFORE the Pandemic now has ass-hats rolling through with the COVID.

Early on they talked about Heard Immunity and how more than 60% of the population needed to contract this virus for us to achieve this “immunity”. I’m trying to keep in that 40%, y’all.

Another thing to think about before you head out to social closeness

Maybe you start off focused on staying six feet away and sanitizing and all that. Then you’re a couple beers in. You are getting loose. Unfocussed. Start seeing people you know and missed. You get chatty. Have another beer.

Now you’re entering the “hugging and hanging on your bro’s shoulder” phase of your buzz. You might even go off into a dark corner to make-out with some rando bearded fellow.

Hell, maybe you lick a table to make everyone laugh at your antics and as a middle finger to COVID-19. You are now the Trent Reznor of the Corona Virus, hurting yourself to see if you still feel.

I don’t trust myself. I’ll stick to picking up beer and running home to my personal beer garden to drink it.