Because brewers are so fucking bored with flavor and the work, they just want pilsners and lagers.
It’s a good test. A test to see if the brewer knows what the hell he is doing. If he’s got a good lager or pilsner then he probably can brew.
I had always thought that tasting a brewer’s pale is how you judge.
Brewers are annoyed that you like flavors. You dick Beer Geeks, liking all that damn flavor! Screw. You. Guys. I’m going going home with Zero Hopped Pilsner.
Give us what we want, you brewing bros. Stop trying to shove your Pilsner on is. Homebrew your lagers and drink them all day for all I care.
You’re a damn Pro. And being pro means you have to make some stuff that is interesting and fun. There is nothing fucking interesting and fun about a clean lager.
If you want to be relive your Budweiser drinking days, then go get a Budwieser and leave us be. Where is my Mosaic hopped marshmellow hazy?
I am not one to be afraid to nerd out about Untappd. And I’d be willing to stay on the Untappd App longer (which is what all sites and Apps want from you) if the Untappd Overlords would add these five things.
1. Make It Easy To Do Late Check-Ins.
Half of my check-ins are after the fact. You know, you’re in a situation (like going to dinner with non-beer geeks) and you don’t want to be on your phone, checking in beers. Or you are partying too hard and don’t want to stop and use Untappd.
But later, you want credit for having that beer. So you check-in even though you’re not currently dinking. There is never been a button or added feature to idicate this. What I do and most people do is indicate in the comments that it’s a late check-in. Not the worst thing in the world but also slightly annoying.
2. Give Us One Minute Of Video.
Is that too crazy? Instagram has video so it’s obviously possible. But do I really want it? I don’t have the energy to watch IGTV videos. Barely can watch Instagram Stories.
So why am I asking for video on Untappd? It goes back to wanting to not leave the App. Being able to give a one minute review of the beer could make things more interesting on Untappd, that is for certain.
3. Simplify Finding People.
Take away the extra step in searching for users. When you first search a user name on Untappd it searches through your current friends. If you are trying to find a new-to-you person, you then have to hit the “add” button at the top right and search again. Just make one search, yeah?
4. Change “Beers” back to “Uniques”.
On your profile, it used to compile your basic check-in stats as beers and uniques. Beers is how many times you checked in a beer. Uniques are how many different beers you’ve had. Now, mysteriously, it’s “Check-ins” that represent the number of beers you drank and “Beers” for the number of unique beers you’ve drank. Weird and lame.
5. Give Us A Global and Local Leaderboard
A, Most Untappd Check-ins leader board. This could get ugly. But I really would like to know who had the most check-ins on Untappd. I can guarantee it is not someone that works at Untappd.
Maybe something like Reddit does where you can be upvoted for how good your reviews are or how interesting your check-ins are.
Anyway, Untappd. I’ll keep thinking of junk. You keep listening. Leave a comment if there is something you would like Untappd to do.
What are Crispybois or “crispies” in the beer geek world?
If we are in the realm of beer geek terms, when one uses the slang “crispies” they are referring to macro beers or pilsners like a Coors Light on Bud Light or other boring corporate beers.
Also may be simply referring to beers that are kept in the crisper bin of the refrigerator. No space on the shelf so you start storing beers in the crisper.
Don’t forget the Bros and how the term crispies relate! You call them “crispy bois”. At least you could call them that.
Don’t be bummed Flagship February is over. It is still going at every place that has craft beer. Really. Check you Untappd feed if you don’t believe me.
Here is a handy list of places that will continue Flagshipping, way after February… like, all damn year and forever.
Chilli’s.
Red Robin.
Whole Foods.
Red Lobster.
Texas Roadhouse.
Buffalo Wild Wings.
Your Uncle’s.
Applebees.
The Denny’s in Barstow.
711.
The Cantina at Mos Isles, Tatooine.
Every Indian Gaming Casino.
Friday’s.
Dan and Julie’s Wedding.
The White House When Obama Was There.
Chevron Gas Stations.
Fresno Yosemite International Airport.
That Taco Bell That Serves Alchohol.
Every Restaurant In Downtown Disney.
The Bowling Alley From The Big Lebowski’s.
Every Sushi, Tepanaki and Mexican Food Place.
The Tailgates at Every Show on the Korn & Alice In Chains Tour.
The Place Dekard Eats Noodles At In Blade Runner.
Circle K.
Flight 1138 From Los Angels to Maui.
Chotchkie’s.
Your Friend From Work’s Ski Boat.
All kidding aside, I think Flagship February is a cool thing. But my point is, Flagships are not dead. Diminished, sure. But definitely not dead.
They live on, and probably always will, at more places than you think.
