What I Need To Be Comfortable At A Taproom During A Pandemic

The Solemn Oath Community Beer Garden does look inviting

Iโ€™m still not sure about all this. Breweries and beer bars letting people actually sit down and hang, when things are still shit. But, the COVID-Keg has been tapped, people are going to drink.

I still think staying home is the best option BUT if I do head out to a brewery and sit down to have something hoppy, here are things I will need to feel RELATIVELY comfortable:

  • The brewery has been taking this pandemic seriously the whole time.
  • Outdoor area for sitting or standing.
  • Workers wearing masks when around beer or serving area.
  • Actively see wiping down of surfaces after use.
  • All patrons wearing masks when they are not drinking.

If all five are not there, Iโ€™m not staying and Iโ€™m probably not picking up beer to take home either, ya filthy animals.

You people know that if you stay long enough youz gonna need to go pee, right? The same bathroom that was a germ cesspool BEFORE the Pandemic now has ass-hats rolling through with the COVID.

Early on they talked about Heard Immunity and how more than 60% of the population needed to contract this virus for us to achieve this “immunity”. I’m trying to keep in that 40%, y’all.

Another thing to think about before you head out to social closeness

Maybe you start off focused on staying six feet away and sanitizing and all that. Then you’re a couple beers in. You are getting loose. Unfocussed. Start seeing people you know and missed. You get chatty. Have another beer.

Now you’re entering the “hugging and hanging on your bro’s shoulder” phase of your buzz. You might even go off into a dark corner to make-out with some rando bearded fellow.

Hell, maybe you lick a table to make everyone laugh at your antics and as a middle finger to COVID-19. You are now the Trent Reznor of the Corona Virus, hurting yourself to see if you still feel.

I donโ€™t trust myself. I’ll stick to picking up beer and running home to my personal beer garden to drink it.

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