If we are in the realm of beer geek terms, when one uses the slang “crispies” they are referring to macro beers or pilsners like a Coors Light on Bud Light or other boring corporate beers.
Also may be simply referring to beers that are kept in the crisper bin of the refrigerator. No space on the shelf so you start storing beers in the crisper.
Don’t forget the Bros and how the term crispies relate! You call them “crispy bois”. At least you could call them that.
I have two bins full of bad “crispies” waiting for a really desperate day. A day I hope never comes. At least now I know what to call them.
Don’t be bummed Flagship February is over. It is still going at every place that has craft beer. Really. Check you Untappd feed if you don’t believe me.
Here is a handy list of places that will continue Flagshipping, way after February… like, all damn year and forever.
Chilli’s.
Red Robin.
Whole Foods.
Red Lobster.
Texas Roadhouse.
Buffalo Wild Wings.
Your Uncle’s.
Applebees.
The Denny’s in Barstow.
711.
The Cantina at Mos Isles, Tatooine.
Every Indian Gaming Casino.
Friday’s.
Dan and Julie’s Wedding.
The White House When Obama Was There.
Chevron Gas Stations.
Fresno Yosemite International Airport.
That Taco Bell That Serves Alchohol.
Every Restaurant In Downtown Disney.
The Bowling Alley From The Big Lebowski’s.
Every Sushi, Tepanaki and Mexican Food Place.
The Tailgates at Every Show on the Korn & Alice In Chains Tour.
The Place Dekard Eats Noodles At In Blade Runner.
Circle K.
Flight 1138 From Los Angels to Maui.
Chotchkie’s.
Your Friend From Work’s Ski Boat.
All kidding aside, I think Flagship February is a cool thing. But my point is, Flagships are not dead. Diminished, sure. But definitely not dead.
They live on, and probably always will, at more places than you think.
UPDATE: The “Big News” is Untappd is putting on a festival in NC. *yawn*
I shouldn’t be so curious about it (although I do like writing about Untappd), but Untappd is about to make a big announcement. They have been hyping it for days.
More than the time they got bought out, even. The folks at Untappd are excited about this, so it must be good, yes?
They did have one of their co-founders leave recently and that makes me nervous. Like, “We got him out of the way, now we can finally do that thing he thought was dumb!”
So what the hell is it?! Here are five theories out there.
Untappd Is Getting Bought By The Evil Empire, ABinBev.
Like I said, they’ve already been bought-out so I can’t imagine it being that. I do worry that it could be some sort of Big Beer related partnership, though. Please no. Just…no.
Yes, of course, but what will be in the update? Would they be making a big deal like this over a new feature? That would be lame. Letting you send pics in your DMs would not be announcement worthy.
In fact, a handful of new features is not hype-worthy too me either.
Untappd Buys-out Another Thing.
This could be it. Credit @beardedbrewer87 for this idea. They buy another social app that gives Untappd a whole other level of … social, stuff.
Lord don’t let it be that they bought a wine check-in app and now you can check booze and wine too. We might riot.
Beer Festival
Boring. If this is it that is so boring. Beer festivals are fine but not fine enough to hype it up in this way. Pretzel necklaces are not everything.
Badges
Dude, I like badges as much as the next user but if this is all about badges then screw you guys. In fact, there had better at least be a “Got Screwed” badge, if this is just about badges. We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.
Clueless In Fresno
I am going with an update to the app that adds a major feature. What that is I have no idea.
We’ve all done it. You bring good beer to a party or you have good beer at yours. You want everyone to enjoy themselves and maybe even discover a beer they have not tried.
BUT!
You have beers in that ice-chest exclusively for you. Ones you only want to drink. You got to bury them or come up with a plan.
Let’s brainstorm some ideas. Even if some are obvious.
Cooler With a Hidden Compartment
I really wanted to find a magic cooler that has a false bottom that one could easily get to and not draw attention. That does not seem to exsist.
But there is one dude that (if you’re good with working with wood) shows you how to make a small hidden compartment in the lid of an ice-chest:
Yeah, I’m not going through all that. Plus, it is not practical enough to keep something as big as beer cans or bottles and hold something that would keep that false top cold. Moving on.
Hidden Beer Cooler
Now we’re going to try and flat out hide the cooler. Put it in an odd spot that does not draw attention to where you’re going, but also can be accesses by you without hassle.
IN THE BEDROOM. This would be weird to do at somebody else’s place, but totally possible at your own.
THE TOILET TANK. I suppose you could fashion some sort of cooler that would go inside the tank of the main toilet. Maybe big enough for some cans but still let the toilets flusher still work probably. This is hardcore and would require ingenuity I don’t have.
COOLER IN THE BUSHES. The grassy knol where there was a second cooler. Hide it in the trees, dude. “Why does Mikey keep going over into the bushes?” “Yeah, and now he somehow has a new beer?”
WITH THE PURSES. Get one of them cooler bags, one that looks like maybe it’s a mom purse. Leave it amongst the other “bags” and hopefully nobody will see you checking the coat and bags area every 20 minutes.
BEER CLOSET. If you are lucky enough to have a walk-in closet, you now have a Beer Closet. This may require you to sneak away and do some chugging.
So I assume if you’re ready this weird and nerdy beer blog, you have probably been to a beer venue that has an Untappd Board. If you haven’t seen one, it is an electronic board above the bar, that you can see yourself displayed at the bottom of the board, checking into the beer you’re drinking at the venue.
If there are not many people checking-in while you’re there, you can have your name take up all the check-ins being displayed. You can “Sweep The Board!”
There it is. That’s the term we are calling it. Sweep The Board.
This was birthed on the Perfect Pour podcast, but we have been calling it different things. “Run the board”, “Own the Board”, “Board Sweep”.
I wanted to tighten it up and make a universal term that we can all start using, making it easier to start trending and try and make this become a thing among users of Untappd. Sweep The Board.
Here is what it looks like in real life from famous L.A. Beer Geek, ChewYourBeer:
See how Chew is kind of unsure of what to call it? (Although “Board Control” sounds kinda cool.)
Please feel free to laugh at my nerdness of all this because it probably deserves to be laughed at, but I think starting a beer trend is pretty damn cool so laugh it up, Fuzzball.
Just remember to use #SweepThe Board when you’re done laughing.
Since we’re here and in case ya didn’t know: Untappd User Name: dorktown (or search for Mikey Top Pour).
