I’m Trying To Decide Which Hop To Drop From My Life

Star Cloud IPA
Modern Times – Star Cloud IPA

I really don’t like the taste of old IPAs. I suppose everyone can say that, but I really really don’t.

Depending how low I am on beer supply, if I buy a six-pack of (what turns out to be) old tasting beer, I will drain-pour the whole damn thing, three sips in.

It’s so bad that even if a fresh beer has a hop that brushes up against that old beer flavor, I’m the hell out of there.

I am getting that from a recent batch of Modern Times “Star Cloud”. Not so bad that I want to pour it out, but there is an issue here and it might be personal.

It’s a newish batch (only six weeks old). It was in the cooler of a Sprouts Market, so I dont think it took any extreme temperature changes.

Yet it reminds me of an older IPA. Notes of old. Could it be the hops used? I’m leaning toward this.

Citra is the featured hop. I have never gotten “old” from a Citra heavy beer. So I know it’s not Citra – at least I’m pretty sure. I fucking love most Citra based beers.

The other three?

  • Motueka: Its a New Zealand hop that features fruit and citrus notes. I would have picked this one before knowing anything, but it sounds fine.
  • Cashmere: Lemon lime, melon, peach, tangerine. Uh ohhh, melon huh? Yeah, I don’t like melon. This is a possibility.
  • Centennial: Citrus. Lemon. Floral. Interesting, sometimes I’m not down with the floral notes.

So my issue with the Star Cloud is likely the Cashmere or Centennial. Maybe both.

It could be the combo of melon and floral. It also could be just the melon.

My pick is Cashmere. I don’t usually have a problem with floral mixed in with other flavors I dig. And I know I like Centennial featuring beers, normally.

Time to start giving a hard look at Cashmere with a side-eye for Centennial.

The New Yorker’s Spot On Spoof Of Brewery Tours and Bro Breweries

“Yeah, bro, I’m totally getting the IPA taste in the front”

Well done, Eddie Small, via the New Yorker.

This sendup of a brewery tour had me noding my head yes and laughing.

Highlights:

Hale Valley Brewery—one of just seventeen microbreweries in Litchfield County, Connecticut, that has the word “Valley” in its name.

….Adam & Phillip decided to open up their microbrewery in Litchfield County because, as soon as they saw how beautiful it was here, they knew it was the only place where they could make their beer taste as great as they had always imagined.

…Now we’re going to start the tour in what we call the “brewing room,” where you’ll have the opportunity to sample individual beer ingredients on their own, when they all still taste bad and nonalcoholic.

Go read it, anybody that’s noticed the occasional Business Bro Brewery or have been on one-too-many tours, will find it a fun read.

Bring Your Beer: “The Studio” from Portlandia

I was always a little frustrated with Portlandia never developing a brewer or beer geek character on the show.

It is such an obvious fit for a show about Portland culture and its nerds to have a quirky beer nerd character – too obvious for Fred and Carrie I guess.

At least the characters occasionally are having a beer in sketches. One of this best is the above sketch “The Studio” which starts with Fred’s Studio Guy character (maybe my favorite) asking Lance Bangs to come check out his studio and he can bring his beer.

The mellow statement of “bring your beer” just plain feels good.

Going to check out a thing someone wants you to see and you can do it while hanging with a beer in your hand? Perfect.

If this isn’t my favorite Portlandia sketch of all time, it’s at least one of them.

More from the Studio Guy:

Continue reading “Bring Your Beer: “The Studio” from Portlandia”

Sometimes I Get Tired of Untappd

Beachwood “Citraholic” check-in

Nobody talks about Untappd more than I do. I love it. But sometimes… it tires me the hell out.

I just want to drink my damn beer and not worry about taking a perfect flipping picture and putting it on Instagram or checking it in on Untappd.

It can be exhausting. Especially when you’re drunk.

But. But but but BUT, I often DO like posting on Untappd.

I like checking-in Uniques. Writing a little review in hopes it helps someone or the brewer. Or reminds me in the future to get this beer again. Or don’t get it.

I like following other people, seeing what everyone is drinking. I love that ChewYourBeer likes to boast about being the first to drink a beer in his community:

Chew’s first Fieldwork!

People using Untappd in a creative way is the best. It’s pure.

Unlike Instagram, there is no game behind posting. You’re not using hashtags or whatever, to try and gain followers or ‘game’ some algorithm.

You post for you and your beer friends.

So yeah, I get too tired to use the app sometimes and miss posting a new beer. But I always sober-up and comeback. It’s my favorite beer community.

Cold IPAs are Pale Lagers but whatever, OK

We are so desperate to have IPA in the description of our beers that peeps are making pale lagers and assigning a new IPA term to them.

So yeah, a couple of breweries are trying to create a style of beer called “Cold IPA“ but in actuality it’s a hoppy lager with a large ABV.

Yeah, you know what? Fuck it.

Why not just call everything IPAs from here on out?

  • Brown IPA
  • Stout IPA
  • Barrel Aged Stout IPA
  • Farmhouse IPA
  • Seltzer IPA
  • Your Mom’s IPA

Less arguing and confusion now.

Every beer style should just have IPA at the end of it so we can move on to just drinking beer without prejudice.