The New Yorker’s Spot On Spoof Of Brewery Tours and Bro Breweries

“Yeah, bro, I’m totally getting the IPA taste in the front”

Well done, Eddie Small, via the New Yorker.

This sendup of a brewery tour had me noding my head yes and laughing.

Highlights:

Hale Valley Brewery—one of just seventeen microbreweries in Litchfield County, Connecticut, that has the word “Valley” in its name.

….Adam & Phillip decided to open up their microbrewery in Litchfield County because, as soon as they saw how beautiful it was here, they knew it was the only place where they could make their beer taste as great as they had always imagined.

…Now we’re going to start the tour in what we call the “brewing room,” where you’ll have the opportunity to sample individual beer ingredients on their own, when they all still taste bad and nonalcoholic.

Go read it, anybody that’s noticed the occasional Business Bro Brewery or have been on one-too-many tours, will find it a fun read.

Cold IPAs are Pale Lagers but whatever, OK

We are so desperate to have IPA in the description of our beers that peeps are making pale lagers and assigning a new IPA term to them.

So yeah, a couple of breweries are trying to create a style of beer called “Cold IPA“ but in actuality it’s a hoppy lager with a large ABV.

Yeah, you know what? Fuck it.

Why not just call everything IPAs from here on out?

  • Brown IPA
  • Stout IPA
  • Barrel Aged Stout IPA
  • Farmhouse IPA
  • Seltzer IPA
  • Your Mom’s IPA

Less arguing and confusion now.

Every beer style should just have IPA at the end of it so we can move on to just drinking beer without prejudice.