UPDATE: The “Big News” is Untappd is putting on a festival in NC. *yawn*
I shouldn’t be so curious about it (although I do like writing about Untappd), but Untappd is about to make a big announcement. They have been hyping it for days.
More than the time they got bought out, even. The folks at Untappd are excited about this, so it must be good, yes?
They did have one of their co-founders leave recently and that makes me nervous. Like, “We got him out of the way, now we can finally do that thing he thought was dumb!”
So what the hell is it?! Here are five theories out there.
Untappd Is Getting Bought By The Evil Empire, ABinBev.
Like I said, they’ve already been bought-out so I can’t imagine it being that. I do worry that it could be some sort of Big Beer related partnership, though. Please no. Just…no.
Yes, of course, but what will be in the update? Would they be making a big deal like this over a new feature? That would be lame. Letting you send pics in your DMs would not be announcement worthy.
In fact, a handful of new features is not hype-worthy too me either.
Untappd Buys-out Another Thing.
This could be it. Credit @beardedbrewer87 for this idea. They buy another social app that gives Untappd a whole other level of … social, stuff.
Lord don’t let it be that they bought a wine check-in app and now you can check booze and wine too. We might riot.
Beer Festival
Boring. If this is it that is so boring. Beer festivals are fine but not fine enough to hype it up in this way. Pretzel necklaces are not everything.
Badges
Dude, I like badges as much as the next user but if this is all about badges then screw you guys. In fact, there had better at least be a “Got Screwed” badge, if this is just about badges. We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.
Clueless In Fresno
I am going with an update to the app that adds a major feature. What that is I have no idea.
I hope that you are here to help me brainstorm ways to hide your beer. The main focus will be ways to hide your good beer from other party goers or relatives coming over for events like Thanksgiving.
Okay, here are some ideas on how to hide your beer (and yes, even your hard seltzer) in a cooler or any way we can:
Cooler With a Hidden Compartment
I really wanted to find a magic cooler that has a false bottom that one could easily get to and not draw attention. That does not seem to exist on Amazon or any regular website. But there are people that are good at building things beer related.
Like this one dude that (if you’re good with working with wood) shows you how to make a small hidden compartment in the lid of an ice-chest:
Yeah, I’m not going through all that. Plus, it is not practical enough to keep something as big as beer cans or bottles and hold something that would keep that false top cold. Moving on.
Best Coolers That Are Less Obvious
I found this Rotomolded Hard Cooler over on East Oak that isn’t hidden, but it doesn’t look like a cooler and it makes for a good seat. So it’s classier. Plus, it is highly rated and well insulated, so it checks all the boxes, even if it isn’t straight up hiding.
Now we’re going to try and flat out hide the cooler. Put it in an odd spot that does not draw attention to where you’re going, but also can be accesses by you without hassle. Some ideas:
IN THE BEDROOM. This would be weird to do at somebody else’s place, but totally possible at your own.
THE TOILET TANK. I suppose you could fashion some sort of cooler that would go inside the tank of the main toilet. Maybe big enough for some cans but still let the toilets flusher still work probably. This is hardcore and would require ingenuity I don’t have.
COOLER IN THE BUSHES. The grassy knol where there was a second cooler. Hide it in the trees, dude. “Why does Mikey keep going over into the bushes?” “Yeah, and now he somehow has a new beer?”
WITH THE PURSES. Get one of them cooler bags, one that looks like maybe it’s a mom purse. Leave it amongst the other “bags” and hopefully nobody will see you checking the coat and bags area every 20 minutes.
BEER CLOSET. If you are lucky enough to have a walk-in closet, you now have a Beer Closet. This may require you to sneak away and do some chugging.
In Ground Beer Cooler
You probably have seen this one. The HopfenHohlen underground beer cooler:
This thing looks really boss until you realize that there is no way those beers are staying cold in our climate. It would be great if your backyard is in Alaska though.
Supposedly, being underground keeps things cool. That may work in the Sweden, dude, but not here. Really wish it was available as a normal idem in North America, but I suppose a smart enough person could engineer one.
How to Hide Beer In the Fridge
So you don’t have the budget for one of those badass beer fridges that you can keep stocked for anyone coming over.
You are trying to keep visitors away from your stash or you’re at someone’s else’s and you don’t want your cousin’s new dumb boyfriend getting to your beer.
If you’re at home, make sure there is an ice-chest that everyone knows contains the party beer. Make it clear. Put a sign on the damn thing. “This is where to come get beer!”
Then you put the good beer in the fridge. But do a little hiding there too. Underneath veggies always works. Just watch out for this question:
Cousin: “Where are you getting those?” You: “Oh, it was the last one.”
That’s how you play it. You can also hide it in other ways, like with a koozie or cooler:
Hide a Beer Can With Koozie or Cooler
This is a nice generic style of can cooler (that can double as a cup). I mention generic as this Joopetalk can cooler doesn’t look like you’re hiding your beer or hard seltzer, just looks like you’re hydrating and stuff.
There is also this one by Asobuthat is nicely rated and fairly popular.
Secret Cover For a Beer Can
You can also hide your beers with a special slip cover. There are several different types available that can make your can look like you’re drinking a Coke or a Pepsi. Good idea, unless your unsuspecting cousin is 10-years sober and thinks he just opened a Sprite.
Here is one in action:
Hi-Tech: One that truly helps keep your beer cold like a Yeti Rambler Colster. I have one. I like it. It works well enough at keeping your can cold and mostly hidden. But it’s only good for 12oz cans.
The Hopsulator, on the other hand, is all about keeping 16oz cans cool. Which is cool of them.
I have yet to buy one but I will as soon as I have the cash. They are priced at $20 or $23 dollars and seem worth it. It’s just that when I have an extra $20 lying around, it usually goes to new beer and not gadgets. But I’ll get one soon.
Stick With the Basics
If all these sound too much. Just use my basic method of hiding the good beers at the bottom of the cooler and hope for the best.
Actually, the best is having enough money to buy enough good beer for everyone and not worry if it gets wasted on non-beer geeks. A few beers can be spilled in the continuous effect to get people drinking good, Indie Beer.
Feel free to share your tips for hiding the good stuff, by leaving a comment.
Cheers!
Oh, and if you are going to hide one, this is the cooler at the top of my wish-list (literally) for hiding, or more likely, displaying and bragging about.
(Heads up: Some of these are affiliate links. You don’t have to do anything, it just means I might get some money if you buy something and I thought you should know.)